middle of nowhere
by Baconfat
Summary: Seifer, Zell, and a rental car. Shortfic, SeiferZell postslash, written on request for bottleofshine!


It was a clear, sunny day, about a hundred miles from anything worth looking at, and Seifer had the feeling he should be pissed off about that. He wasn't. He was stretched out in the back seat of the car, his feet resting on the frame, his coat balled up under his head, and he wasn't pissed off. The sun was warm, the car was completely totalled, and Seifer couldn't bring himself to be pissed at all. Bored as hell, yeah, but not pissed. "Are you _done_ yet?"

There was a clank from somewhere at the front of the car, some muffled swearing, and after a minute Zell appeared at Seifer's feet, scowling, his jacket off and his hair all messed. "The hell? I'm workin' my ass off tryin' to fix this thing so we don't have to walk a zillion miles back to Deling City, and you're takin' a _nap?_"

Seifer lifted a hand to shield his eyes. "Yeah. Are you done yet?"

Zell crossed his arms. "What if a monster shows up?"

"Probably do a better job of fixing the car than you can."

"Tch! Shut up, I know what I'm doing!" He went back to work, ducking under the hood, and Seifer closed his eyes again. "If monsters show up and eat the car, it's gonna be all your fault."

"My fault for letting _you_ drive." For a whole three minutes before he hit a _tree_.

"What?!" Back now, and waving around something that was probably a crucial part of the engine. "I wouldn't have crashed if you weren't bein' such a _jerk!_"

"Should've known you wouldn't be able to see over the dashboard."

Zell let out a strangled, "Argh!" Seifer snickered at him, and Zell just scowled, pushing the hair out of his face and leaving a streak of engine grease on one cheek. "You could at least get off your ass and _help_. Hand me that wrench."

The wrench was an easy reach away, on the floor by Seifer's head. He smirked. "Get it yourself."

Zell let out a little growl, put down the engine thing and climbed into the car, reaching over Seifer for the wrench. Seifer shifted a little, carelessly, and nudged him so he lost his balance, toppling onto Seifer.

"The hell're y --"

Seifer shut him up with a long, slow kiss, shifting to get comfortable under his weight.

Zell pulled away after a minute, letting out a breath. "My hands are all covered in grease and stuff," he complained.

"You stain my coat, I will cut your goddamn head off," Seifer warned, tugging Zell's shirt up so he could slide a hand underneath.

"Mmmph," Zell replied.

- - -

Hours later, a shiny red convertible limped into the Deling City Rent-A-Car, spewing smoke. It shuddered painfully to a stop, and the two of them spilled out, coughing.

Seifer handed the keys over to the attendant. "We need a new car."

"This thing's defective, man!" Zell chimed in. "One little tree and it was like,_ pwkshwww_. Totalled."

The attendant stared, looking helplessly from the keys to the car. "I -- what --"

"Yeah," Zell said, "I got it working, though." He opened the hood, letting a cloud of steam billow out, and the attendant's eyes widened. "Pretty good, huh? So, can we have another car?"

The attendant stared into the engine, a look of horror on his face. "I -- what -- did you -- is this a_ tentacle?_"

"Yeah, from a Malboro! The fan belt was broken, and I needed something tough and rubbery to replace it, so --"

The attendant pointed back out the way they'd come. "Get. _Out_."

Seifer rolled his eyes.

"Uh," Zell glanced over at him, "sure? We just need a new car so we can..."

"_Absolutely not_," the attendant shouted, and the engine burst into flames.

"Whoa!" Zell exclaimed.

Seifer grabbed the attendant by the front of his uniform and pulled him aside. "I just spent the last eight hours in a car with _him_." He indicated Zell, who was occupied casting a Water spell on the engine. "I have a splitting headache and a _gunblade_, and if you don't give us a new car I'm going to give _you_ a splitting headache, got it?"

"I'm -- I'm terribly sorry, sir, but when you registered for the rental you declined the insurance --"

"I don't need insurance," Seifer cut in. "I need a _car_. I'm on _vacation_."

"Good as new!" Zell chirped, slamming the hood closed. The front bumper fell off.

"If -- if I give you a car, will you go away?"

- - -

Seifer hit the gas and savoured the sound of the tires squealing as they peeled out of the garage, the city passing by in a blur.

"Put your seatbelt on, man. And slow down! Last time I was here Squall was all like, 'This isn't a field trip, Zell,' even though he spent like the whole time playin' Triple Triad and gettin' his gunblade upgraded and I didn't get to see _anyth_ -- WHOA!" He threw a hand directly into Seifer's field of vision, pointing. "Check it OUT," he went on, staring out the window and practically _climbing_ into Seifer's _lap_, " -- they're building a T-Board racing circuit, that is so friggin' cool --"

Seifer didn't see the lamppost until it was embedded in the hood of the car.

They took a train the rest of the way.


End file.
